THESE DAYS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY EXTENUATING for all of us, but at the same time THE FINAL CRITS HAVE BEEN THE MOST INTERESTING AND USEFUL ONES EVER (very well coordinated with our May).
ALL TUTORS (Siv, Izaskun and I) WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL THE CRITS THE FANTASTIC WORK DONE DURING THE TWO SESSIONS WE HAD. Thank you very much Yael Reisner, Julia Backhaus, Luis Vidal, Peter Cook, Frosso Pimenides and Gonzalo Cohelo de Portugal.
We also want to thank you all for your participation, even some of you had to present in very bad conditions (too short slots, noisy space, and presentation interruptions due to lack of space). Thank you very much again for you effort and comprehension.
Without further delay, I attach all the commentaries the panel did after presenting your work.
– is difficult to understand the project.
– which are the criteria that allow you to design and to the users to use the space!? How the office routine is affecting the design?
– is too diagrammatic to understand the project.
– the documents are unclear.
– your selection of site and building pre-existences is not very well put into value. Open plan is already very boxy, but your design is not either in the side of the Gordon Matta-Clark work.
– why is the tower the chosen typology?
– Tati work is still a reference.
– what do you bring to the office typology.
– taking a building section and revisit them individually.
– which is your opinion? Critic? Irony?… Not clear…
– it is necessary to go to the mega project?
– which are the spatial qualities of your proposal??
– probably it is necessary to focus in the little detail scale…..
– the slab design is not put into value.
– there is a lack of discipline! If you write your criteria you can get a fantastic improvement of the design process.– Yael:
– how the thought about the vulnerable community is informing your work? Is it a set of independent interventions? Is it germinating in one building? Which is the relationship of the zoetrope and the proposal!?
– individuality and collaborative proposals are very relevant to understand your thinking and the subject.
– your genuine ambitious, very interesting, is not represented in your documents, is not concluded in your building.
– you could try to give your best to CONCLUDE your project.
– what is your proposal beyond what we see? The section of the building could be similar to the zoetrope….
– which is your opinion? Critic.. For Yael is clear, but not your building….
– is it a reflection of a further change… It is not clear yet.
– don’t bring any new idea. Only bring the ideas into the BUILDING.
– the project can be described through the use of the building. Let’s focus in how individual people use and change the building space? Don’t start again with new ideas.
– NOT NAIVE.
– the slab design is not put into value: how the slab allow flexibility!? And light? And how do you improve the spatial quality. Is the slab growing, fatter…. With different materials, with different spatial configuration?
– the year has been dealing with the duality of site specificity and typology.
– The problem is that in your project, the space was not a problem interesting for you, only people’s performance.
– now is about object, materiality and people.
– it can be possible to summarize everything focus in an exact moment, specific use, an specific people, and object in an space. DESCRIBING THIS ISSUES ARE GOING TO MAKE THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR PORTFOLIO. What is happening in your office that is not happening anywhere else.
– the portfolio is extremely chaotic.
– you should re-organize according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project.
– this task is very demanding, so please, try to find some collaborators
– where are the tortoise in the real space? (CLUE! put tortoises) what is the use if the tortoise device? Not explained yet!
– justification of why the car-park is removed!!?? TO WORK IN THE COMMUNICATION LEVEL OF THE PROJECT!
– you believe people trust/believe you. And this is not granted, the documents are not self-explanatory.
– YOU HAVE TWO WEEKS TO MEDIATE the different kind of documents you have done so far! How we use…. How people and animals occupy the space? And how the landscape is enriched!? There is NO CONTEXT IN YOUR DOCUMENTS!
– the sky room description is not properly done. Why the sky landscape is relevant? Where is it? Is it site-specific?? You trust everybody trust your logic.
– JAMES STUART IS interested in the experience of light, never structure, in your case, you have to inform your project not only structure, but try to enhance the experience of the desert.
– enhance and connect together all the bits: landscape, museum, park, others buildings… Do we help tortoise? Do we help landscape, do we help fishes…..
– the documents are or too dark, or too small, and sections are cutting through the not appealing part of the project.
– why are you using the car-park??? It is not justify!! You should explain that you are increasing the desert area!
– you are only describing the technical approach of design? But how the space is used?? And how is justified!? How much due water are you collecting?
– you don’t trust yourself.
– There are lots of grey zones…. Verbally and in design. The circulation is very abstract and not defined and described properly.
– you have a perfect time to go deeper in design! How we use…. How people and animals occupy the space? And how the landscape is enriched!? There is NO CONTEXT.
– Which is the porpoise of your project?? Is it a charity? Why it is necessary? YOU DIDN’T PIN UP THE PAGES DESCRIBING THE ECONOMICAL STRATEGY.
– research environment is extremely determinate by the research conditions, and in the other hand the Sonora desert is a merciless environment that ruin buildings….. How can your project mediate among them.
– materiality is absolutely necessary!
– rather that to do more, you have to go deeper.
– why the tree is having that shape and form? Is it coming from an specific spices from the desert? Not sure… It must be justified!
– the documents are showing the battle between the landscape and the architecture.
– Rachel is kidnapped by the idea of keeping the portfolio growing. A new idea is not a new page of the portfolio, it is a design idea that is relevant for the porpoise.
– your project has to be significant for you. It has to be significant for your community (plants, animals, cactus, landscape….).
– there is a lack of statements that describe the narrative of your interests, therefore, your project. ONE COULD BE, WHICH ARE THE RIGHTS OF THE LANDSCAPE?
– your work could consist on 5 documents describing the landscapes rights. Or user perception through the 5 different senses.
– disaster! You have not included the previous part of your portfolio!
– the portfolio is a collection of independent elements, the same problem of your project itself, there is a lack of programmatic interconnection.
– you should re-organize according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project. Those hypothesis or statements will describe the narrative of your interests, therefore, your project.
– the documents are or too dark, or too small, or if sections cutting through the not appealing part of the project.
– the documents are not self-explanatory! Materiality, and landscape description must be included!
– is it possible to bring the landscape photographers work and perceptions on board.
– which is the interest of the Cairo and Medellin reference?
– recycling is a very time demanding ritual, it requires to change the people’s life….. The link of the Cairo reference is very clever to that extend.
– and how the section is working like? And why is necessary? EXPLAIN IT PERFECTLY.
– how the landscape is relevant?
– is it the community extend? Where is the threshold between the privet and public!?
– how people modify their environment?
– are you celebrating waste? TAKE A POSSITION!
– interesting year path since the very begging of the year. And the result is very legitimate.
– the commentaries are:
1- the population that are going to use this settlement is too reduce. You need to establish the definitions of the community required to achieve a successful scheme.
2- the train-beam is very specific to your project, but is not integrated in the presented narrative. AND NO DOCUMENST DESCRIBE THE LOGIC OF THIS BRANDLY-NEW INFRASTRUCTURE!!!
– why is your proposal making the life better?
– Israeli kibbutz communal dwelling schemes can be a very interesting approach.
– are the different aesthetics possible? Are the spatial qualities different.
– the section is crucial to show the coherency of the project.
– which is your role as an architect? Is it a master planner role? How can you do things without being dictatorial? YOU SHOULD DO AN EFFORT TO MAKE AN statement ABOUT COMFORT, THE EVOLUTION OF CONFORT IN THE FUTURE, AND OUR responsibility AS CONSUMERS TO MAKE OUR HABITS EVOLVE IN THAT DIRECTION.
– you also have to be careful about the believable design that is necessary to make the project work properly.
– which is the role of the social agents? Are they sponsoring!!? NOT DEFINED PROPERLY YET.
– what people get when they receive the working typologies?
– which is extends you are dealing with “waste”? Is the “light” and “clean” side of your project relevant? THE CRITIC MUST BE TAKEN TOWARD AN SPECIFIC DIRECTION.
– to strip out the section to show all the expensive structures that can be revisited to make this project possible. The structures can be done out of little pieces. Pretty versus rigorous!? It is not a beautiful space that you are creating… The beauty comes form the fact of the re-use possibilities.
– the communal kitchen must be resized and re-though.
– Infrastructure: you underplay the fact of the question of recycling our own wastes in the modern society.
– look at the scale coherence of the section.
– at the very beginning you were interested in recycling, and later on in who are the agents involved of the urban recycling reality.
– you are building an infrastructure that is occupied by different intermediate or final users.
– your role as a master planner is establishing:
1- restrictions: preserving quality of spaces. the section could be relevant in that scope.
2- infrastructures: creating a set of facilities and social equipments.
3- catalogue: the different pieces you are creating can be understood as a relevant way of giving power to the final user.
– homofaber versus consumer of manufactured products.
– you should re-organize according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project.
– the pages of the portfolio should be a1. They have a lot of information. You might only need to resize the text.
– You should print the houses 3d in A1 and compare them to a vulgar house typology to describe the spaces you have included in them. You can ask Megan T. To include average dwelling furniture.
– SILLY THINGS: the rail train strategy is not clear enough!
– which is the role of the platform? Which are the materials you are selecting?
– which is the role of the social agents? Are they sponsoring!!? NOT DEFINED PROPERLY YET and I think you should define a very clear graphic tool to make the differences understandable in your section. I don’t think the way you are doing now is strong enough to establish differences! USE RENDERIZED ELEVATIONS OF YOUR DWELLINGS OR OF THE PRIVET CONSTRUCTOR CONSTRUCTIONS…..
– which is the programmatic distribution in your general scheme.
– why the textile is brown? There are many issues relevant in the selection of the material, from the notion of colour and light specificity, to the notion of cosines, the fact that light makes people waking up? The age makes people have different light incomes throughout the skin. Transparency/translucency….
– there are a lot of sensibilities, interesting issues and approaches in your project. But they must be USED to make them relevant and efficient. But they are not brought to be the relevant drivers of your architecture.
– Yael suggest to produce a more atmospheric spatial documents rather than only diagrammatic ones.
– there are no references of how the qualities of the place and the environment have an influence in your project.
– DEPART FORM THE DIAGRAM: the weather can show why the circular shaped form is relevant or not. How each season is informing the architecture and introducing influences.
– section? Why it is not used in order to allow us to understand the overall behaviour/treatment that people may have!? The section can show the tidal movements and the waves rise and low levels.
– transparency and translucency? It can be brilliant to explore this gradients.
– sensitive issues….good analysis of reality!
– We think our role as an architect is designing. But as part of our activities we also have to write briefs, look for strategies, and to prove that the architecture is successful!. SO YOUR DUTY IS TO ANSWER/DEMOSTRATE HOW YOUR ARCHITECTURE IS AFFECTING YOUR BODY POSITIVELY. looking at the body effect.
– Nature is interacting with the body…. It is part of the treatment (wind touching the skin is producing relax….).
– perception is the way you are activating the landscape to produce an improvement of people’s health.
– disaster! You have not included the previous part of your portfolio! the portfolio seems to have lost your first term portfolio pages (a drama form the point of view of the unique drawing technique you have).
– you should re-organize according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project. The presentation has not been very clear….
– the architecture must be defined to support the insomniac treatment. There are not a series of documents focused in that porpoise.
5- MEGAN T.:
– Is it a vertical allotment that belongs to the community? How is it funded? EXPLAIN IT BETTER!
– How is the light and water distributed in the germination tower??
– why only 2 towers??
– which is the relationship with the main building?
– how people have access!?
– how the pleated roof work!?
– it is obvious that the way you think is affecting the project effectively. But the main hub space can gain more interest, efficiency, etc. But possibly, the main interest could be to develop the roof as a way to increase the performance efficiency with the environment, the use, the schedule….
– night time!? Colour?, double layers?……Orientation? THE KINETIC ROOF IS FULL OF POSSIBILITIES!
– how is it like to describe how it is look like from the angle?
– LED, can bring 24h use of the space.
– celebration of the market and new life that is brings.
– the establishment of brief’s statements have been very efficient to drive your architecture.
– the development of the project is done: you have demonstrated how it can be built.
– at the moment, there is only one issue that can be developed in design. The excellency of the space and architecture:
1- the architecture (the roof) can be described to show the influence it has in the growing of plants or control the space temperature.
And another one in the COMMUNICATION of your architecture.
2- to compare your architecture with the architecture already existing, and showing 10 benefits you can find in your project.
– organize according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project. The presentation has not been very clear….
– water and cables in the model? Blue transparent plastics showing different levels? Red threads instead??
– what is the system provided by the developers, and how people can customize the system.
– the structural rule could not so rigid sometimes.
– to show the possible evolutions…..
– To reflect the cultural richness into the different structural systems.
– which are the urban implications? Can you incorporate these modules into others typologies!?
– Life improvement: to find a measure system to prove everyday improvements (10% would be a success).
– comparison of the housing system improvement in different topics:
1- opportunities of development: business.
4- daily activities.
5- freedom to choose co-living gradients.
6- out of the grid. How building services can provide ways of having a certain resource independency (water, electricity, heat, ventilation..).
– how far con go the design Experience: solving the 6th point described above. Multiple skin layer mediating and relating external weather and users use of the space.
– Can you chose an specific title for the project!?
– comparison to a vulgar house (Victorian dwelling and Victorian plan house).
– you might develop a set of urban regulations that control the dwelling modification and growing.
– dwelling evolution?
– how the communication system works!? It is not easy to understand this.
– Which is the use of the space? Lacking of graphic descriptions of the programmes…..
– which is the justification of the building shape and form?
– how can an experience can be reproduced? Humidity, light, temperature and pressure can be produce somewhere and distributed somehow… And this is not explained yet.
– Even-though the project was difficult to grasp and understand the logic that produced such enormous economical and technical effort, you have achieved a project that proves A LOGIC AND A NEW TYPOLOGY.
– it is necessary to show the experiences people will feel.
– you should do an effort to explain WHY your project is necessary in three different topics (postcards or any other media)!
– intangible cultures are going to be represented through performance.
– to justify the most tangible and expensive reality for the porpoise of showing intangible realities.
– weather conditions are informing effectively the culture. ( is this weather box allowing to preserve the environmental conditions in danger and cultural background that creates the intangible culture? This increases the logic). Is the vulnerable community a double reality? Intangible cultures and weather conditions?
– you should do an effort to explain what for!!! Big enough to be understandable.
– the project is talking about a collection of experience available to different users which unique roles (produce, observe/learn, building maintenance). You should include people with an specific graphic layout to describe roles, attitudes …. that will also be interesting to give scale to the plans and sections.
– How to create an experience: we have 5 senses that allow us to analyze the world and recognize how it work…. Your devices must cross the threshold of the architect desire, to really look at how people experience a site/place/environment, and use the specifics tool required to produce an accurate user experience and therefore, understanding of the intangible cultural heritage.
– print darker.
– print bigger if possible (include furniture where it exist).
– update the query shape and form….. Even as a collection of different systems and queries shapes.
– model pictures: recreate the query hole for the light studio setting.
8- MEGAN S.
– the urban relationship is no properly addressed.
– the building can be interpreted as a brand new typology…. Have you taken this into consideration!!!? How can you introduce this in your portfolio!? How the rigidity of the system should be explained or justified? (the hexagonal organic configuration still not being argued properly). A collection of diagram schemes could be very good and useful in this porpoise. For example, to attach bow windows to the facade, temporary covering of urban spaces…..it can be also have urban implications. Etc
– could you take advantage of rendering?
– all urban and farming agents are living together…. You should introduce this information in an ecological set of drawings. To explore how far this project could go beyond your design. The amount of things happening beyond Enric M. decisions in his buildings are amazing!!! it would happen the same in your project! So showing perspectives/visions that you are aware about this collection of spontaneous events can be ABSOLUTELY DEFINITORY TO DESCRIBE THE RICHNESS OF YOUR ARCHITECTURE.
– your design is absolutely amazing, there is only one issue that can be said in this scope. If you compare the hand-draw sections of second term with the final one, you can see how the different uses where joined together in an independent typology (before), but in your final scheme, it has been homogenized by the main building system….could the housing units have independent roofs!? Could some of them be higher or smaller than the others (to allow natural light in all façades, to reinforce natural ventilation, and to make people feel in the same environment that in the countryside?
– the research-tower water collector is too small to be realistic… It would be better to occupy part of the ground floor, that can allow workers, scientist, organisers and the public to see the water collected every day, the water stored and the water consumption.
– include materiality information (due to the DR document your building description in the materiality scope is much lower than your decisions and your work, in the future it would be much efficient to let your mind go free and not self-frustrate or self-betray your own desires).
– the work must always be framed in a portfolio format while it is being produced (this reduces time-consuming activities that are not allowing you to make your project evolve or simply be well presented).
– you should re-organize the portfolio according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project. AND PLEASE, INCLUDE ALL YOUR FIRST TERM PORTFOLIO!
– the story/narrative is very successful to built the notion of community, but it is very technical……. It is more about marter-plan organization rather than focus in the community interaction.
– to be more conscious about the role of the architect. Not loosing track of the architect duties. It would be brilliant to summarize all the proposal in only one document.
– to structure the presentation in a more hierarchical way.
– to built the “panel knowledge” or “information background” about slow-communities…… and their particularities.
– the drawings have to be self explanatory.
– to use of soil thermal heat could be very useful.
– by the time you come to your 5th year you have to learn to explain properly your work: charm versus information, the presentation has not described your work properly.
– what is interesting in your project is not the accuracy of all the systems that you have done (that of course it is relevant and necessary), but the coherency of the scheme developed for the specific community selected.
– how to do the presentation?: to decide, as you have been doing, a set of statements that will help you not to loose the relevance of the proposal (looking after your community interest).
– what else can be done in the slow-food-performance topic rather that to create or use specific devices!? How things can be done otherwise than by the standard way?
– is the manipulation of walls saying something special? What is going beyond? Is the chamfer a way to receive a larger natural sun light? Is it for delight? Or is a collection of interesting issues that goes beyond the architectural logic!?
– I’m aware of the role the different parts of information have had in your proposal.
– not to fall into the politician way of describing things (as I’ve suggested).
– to consider all the collection of documents a legend of your big plan scheme.
– Your architecture is not in the side of the developers world.
– Your project is not in the side of the re-fitting of pre-existing architecture.
– The strong point of your project is to produce a benefit in a non growing scheme, looking for preservation. To associate architecture to slow food concept, is full of threads that must be touched/introduced/took into consideration.
– the main spaces of the project are not the significant spaces, the ones that are absolutely RELEVANT are the set of building services that allow programmes to happen.
– How to create an experience: we have 5 senses that allow us to analyze the world and recognize how it work…. Your devices must cross the threshold of the architect desire, and to be interpreted as a way to allow different ways of co-living to happen!
– the video works very good when filming and recreating parts of users promenades.
– noise could be a very efficient way to introduce environment into your project.
– aren’t the documents too small!?? print them bigger!
– how can be the documents could be self-explanatory?
– the architectural configuration in the master plan is VERY good and sophisticated.
– the architectural configuration in the inter-media scale is very homogeneous, it doesn’t seems to give answer to specific needs of the population.
– is your project informed by the real needs of the population!? Did you talk with the inhabitants of the area!?
– did you consider to use the roof of the towers?
– Britishness of the project? Reinforce the gardening scope.
– the architecture seems to be very iconographic or simplistic not allowing the future use of the space to happen.
– is the tower disappearing to give birth to a new reality? A new typology?
– Filigree: is the filigree finishing of the architecture coming from a personal approach or is it an intrinsic issue!? This issue is not random, you just have not specify the role of the immigrant community. YOU MIGHT RE-BRING THE WOMEN INMIGRANT COMMUNITY TO THE FRONT ROW OF THE PROJECT DEVELOPERS.
– could you built the scenario in which the towers are having different populations!? Mystical population, slow food population, religious one….. Etc? Sometimes we have to force reality rules to allow us to work for the future….. Breaking down the inherited typologies and to look for the unknown future.
– you are working in the Side of connecting two “contrary” realities. The public space and intimate space, that’s why you are creating interfaces.
– how can we create interfaces? There is an Spanish architect example of creating innovative interfaces: in order have access to a building (edificio mirador MVRDV), an architect created a “blog for complaining about the problems of the building”, people was calling him to visit the house and put all the queries on the blog.
– materiality is a real issue in your project that is not completely developed.
– The proposal has as one of the most important issues the fact that the community and the refitting are “living” together, coexisting together for a while, so the refitting strategy must been designed in a very accurate way. I miss some documents of the coexistence moments.
– to reinforce the organization of the portfolio according to the set of hypothesis you have tested in order to develop your project.
11- PAUL McM
– how the façade works? documents are not self-explained….
– the project is a very strong statement against anthropocentrism. There is not an urban negotiation with the environment as in a farm happens due to farmers effort.
– vertical urban farming is a topic that can be built and revisited constantly.
– have you analyze the amount of tea necessary to maintain the cycle?
– include The measure tools that show how your project work!!!! and improve life effectively.
– how is the cellulose production cycle system work? PAUL, IT IS NOT EXPLAINED PROPERLY IN THE BUILDING SCOPE.
– the architectural diagrams have been informed very well your project and models.
– it would be necessary or useful to have a general project diagram that establish the rules, connections and coherency of the design. All the parts still being independent.
– the second larger population in London are rats…. (aren’t they the first one?)
– could the project narrative be refined again? Are you producing tea!?…..
– Food bank typology is always evolving, this is a fantastic approach, in which you are adding the correctness of the architecture acquired previously in your degree together with the development of a non defined typology in a very heuristic way (not academic).
– my personal desire will be to see how things happen in your architecture: insects growing and kembucha cellulose production cycles.
– population is not inhabiting your architecture.
– which is the proportion between the maintenance workers team and the consumers?
– graphically, your last drawings are very good. Nevertheless, you can do more things to do in more understandable!
1- play with the renaissance use of perspective (contrast and blue saturation of the elements according to distance. The more far you go, the more blue the saturations is.
2- are users important? Are proteins and vitamins production the main issue? Take a decision and go for it! introducing the members of the community you are working for…..
3- compare the proposed reality with your designed reality. How a vulgar supermarket works and how yours work!
– which is the real political position that you have? It is not explicit?
– the queen will never use those apartments any more….. Or yes?
– surveillance and security are not answered topics in your project at the moment, or at least, you have not a critical approach over them.
– mediators are preserving the privet scope of the queen to the public view. So they work as media agents is hiding the queens privet life to the public (the opposite of your intentions).
– the mechanical device is more useful as a mediator than the actual media role itself. The world inside the world! (like the moment in which the queen’s room was reached by an estranger!
– your project is containing an enormous collections of layers of irony, criticism and political approach that have not be taken further.
– the diagrams of the visible area from the building offered to the public are brilliant, self description of the information is perfect, no words are required.
– the car “gadget” is very interesting element, although the architecture is non updated to the real stage of the digital contemporary moment. It is a living architectural nostalgia monument form the 80s.
– the confrontation of the monarchy ceremonies with any single average actions is enormously controversial (monarchy members transported in the city with buses during the W&C wedding). Not addressed yet.
– your capacities as an architect WILL allow you to give an step forward in the world development (WOW!!!!!! KAOWEN! )…. If dreamy and desirable possible realities are developed with this amazing effort, then you will create a piece of the world that can change reality effectively.
– drawings are not only showing things, they have the capacity to describe an story…… wow!
– massive audience wanting to get close to the queen…. What people want to do is to touch them, to interact with them, to take part of their life.
– the game your project is proposing is a different one than the one of the observation….
– your year has been absolutely brilliant! Avoiding the easy approach to architecture than skilful and intelligent students usually have, not offering only a good final year diagram, but a consistent body of work and architecture.
– Every element the project contains has been developed professionally, and each one is giving people the possibility to make a whole statement out of it.
– the main building’s media facade is exactly the same than the one that was settle at hide park PROM FESTIVAL last summer…… Excellency would happen in every configuration of your project, KAOWEN work in this collage to give the best answer possible! Event if it doesn’t match with the project plans and sections! This is a self-revision of your own project.
– the new health system is going from treatment to co-care!
– space itself is providing health. Make it more evident (ventilation, natural sun income, noise control….).
– how the co-care system is enriched are even supported by the multicultural reality of the borough.
– to make this project communicable.
– the proximity of a proactive health to the neighbourhood.
– your proposal is working in very generic conditions…. You could bring more specificity (in Peter’s mood) to the last working weeks?
– go to the big urban document!
– the little scale is not attended at the moment.
– it looks very special!
– what happens if some of the premises take relevant role in the medical scope!? JULIAN….. that’s you have been doing! So re-bring this strategy to the front row of your project so far in collaboration with the movable clinics. Could some sterilized cocoon be enough???
– have you develop your project through a set of different scenarios!? Yes! But MAKE IT MORE EVIDENT!
– Your documents are dry ( he has done a comparison to the hand draw Clarissa’s drawings as an example of non dry documents).
– Could you use two different scenarios to take your project deeper?? I THINK THIS IS HAPPENING ALREADY in the “A.0 document containing 3 collages”.
– your project is not coming from an artificially created necessity, but from a wild reality necessity.
– you have not explain sufficiently that your scheme has a PREVENTION intention.
– your documents are highly academic, and your extended user community should be taken into consideration while testing explanatory documents.
– the iconographic collection of chimney is working very well from the visibility and self-communication capacities in the urban scope.
– Where is the original ironical approach of your first research?
– which is the relationship between the most stable clinics and the specific urban space that they occupy?
– how is the clinic changing the whole dwelling structure? Could you introduce the CONTEXT into the documents…. And could you design the negotiation among the health agents and the users of the architecture/shops you are completing with your movable clinics!? Can you introduce real happenings (queen tea, family dinner….)? How can it be plugged from the strategic approach!?
– the portfolio should be having a perfect document order according to a collection of statements that define the hypothesis you have been testing!
– double size pages. No A1. too tiny! go to A.0!
– avoid grey thin lines….